She's JV to your varsity
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
