i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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