honey bunches of taint.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
