"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
