You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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