I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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