i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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