im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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