so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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