THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
soo... how was my night?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
