"it" just moved
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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