1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
