I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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