And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
