you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dignity is for republicans.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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