but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
