i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize