yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
