u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
