that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
