i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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