He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
