No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
is it fun? or sober?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
