Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
