Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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