wrigley field is MILF paradise
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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