The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She needs sedatives and a leash
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
