I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's blow job season.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
