last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
