everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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