She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
