Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
