so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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