We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
