Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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