You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
