If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
should my penis look like a turkey
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
