Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
