Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Two words: nipple clamps
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