i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
