'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
