We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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