i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't deserve a penis
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
