Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
