so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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