at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
