You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
NoShamevember. You game?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
