we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
where am i from again
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
