So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
