Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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