I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
