the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
