whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
