he puts the penis in happiness.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
