Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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