My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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