Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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