i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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