Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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