ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize