I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
