Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize