You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
