You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
