He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize