i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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