I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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