So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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