Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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