she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize