I wish I could punch you in the face.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
