dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
