She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize