And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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