im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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