shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
wow bdsm is so cute
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
