Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize