he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
