Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
