she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
