i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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