her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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