im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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